...and I really need to get a life.

Preferably one with a boyfriend.

I am lonely too =( does he think he is the only one who is lonely?

I miss being loved too =( does he think he was the only who missed being loved?

And now, he has someone to keep him company and someone to love him.

And I still don't.

I want to have that feeling again. The feeling of warmth and love and contentedness in someone's arms.

I want to have that little jolt of electricity when I am kissed, or that tug in my stomach when he holds my hand.

So yes, I do want a boyfriend...but I am not gonna be desperate. No one likes a desperate girl.

When I don't think about it, it's ok...

But it is so hard to stop thinking.

So hard to stop talking to him.

Why am I so weak? Why can't I go a day without talking to him? What is wrong with me???

How can he still make me happy, after what he's done?

Even with a broken heart...I somehow manage to love him with all the broken pieces...

"I believe that everything happens for a reason.

People change so that you can learn to let go.

Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they go right.

You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself.

And sometimes good things fall apart, so that better things can fall together."

-Marilyn Monroe

i wish fixing a broken heart would be as easy as this...of course it would help if someone was willing to fix mine for me...



i wish i had someone to send this picture to...



but above all, i wish that i will be able to accomplish this...

I want to start fresh on livejournal.

I closed my xanga because people knew about it and read stuff...and then xanga proceeded to make my life miserable.

So, hello livejournal.

My name is Mary Feng.

I am quite miserable.